When a relationship ends, it can be incredibly difficult. The pain you feel when you break up with your partner, or when your partner breaks up with you, is real. Scientists at Columbia University have researched what happens to the brain after a breakup, and it functions exactly the same as it would during an experience of physical pain on the body.


Using fMRI technology, they observed the brain’s response to college students who were showed pictures of their recent ex-partners. The part of the brain that reacts to physical pain lit up during imaging!

If you’ve experienced a recent breakup, remember these three things that will help you come to terms with your current situation, and move forward.

1. You’re Worthy

It’s both natural and common to wonder what you personally did wrong to cause a recent breakup. Usually, a breakup isn’t about any one particular situation, which then leads the brain to question your adequacy as a way to make up for the lack of an answer.

Relationships teach us just as much about ourselves as they do other people. Once we get over the initial pain of loss, we know that we’re worth more than the relationship that recently ended.

Instead of focusing on what you might have done wrong to cause the end, think about what you learned throughout the process, and what the end means for your future.

2. Don’t Substitute the Loss


The pain you feel after a breakup is real, and it’s profound. It can make you reach for things in your life that you’ve never felt the need to reach for before. The fact is, healing takes time, and that time needs to be spent alone.

If you immediately rush into another relationship, you aren’t giving yourself enough time to learn from the relationship you were just in; you’re doomed to make the same mistakes you made a short while ago.

Pain has the power to make you think you want something when you really don’t, even when it comes to people.

Don’t make a mistake because you’re in pain, you might just add to it.

3. You Get to Restart


It’s hard not to think of the end, but with every end comes a new beginning. Focus on the fact that you get to try things differently the next time.

Being alone gives you the time you need to get reacquainted with yourself, learn from your mistakes, and become a better person. In a sense, you get to push the restart button.

There are few instances in life that allow us to restart with more knowledge; relationships are one of them. You can mess up on a test in school or a responsibility at work that will make you wish you could redo something with the power of hindsight, but you can’t. Take advantage of what a relationship allows you to do in the future, not what it doesn’t allow you to do at the end.

This article was republished from dailyvibes.org. You can find the original post here.

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